A song of a desert

Once a Man knocked on a door of a house of a witch...

She lived alone in a forest. She studied deeply the life of forest plants and animals. She knew which plants nourish, which heal, she knew the paths as she walked them so many times before. She saw how animals love and kill eachother... She understood that life interwines with death...and that new day alway brings new fresh air.
In times she felt lonely. Sometimes she sang to the Sun sometimes she dreamt to the Moon... She was trying to remind herself her own song to call in a Beloved..One day with fear in her heart she sang her song....
She knew life also means risk...

And one day a hunter from far away knocked on her door.
Her tribe taught her hospitality and she knew it is good to share in depths of forest when someone is lost.

He received from her shelter and food.

She started to listen to his stories of how Earth is mistreated out there and how he has knowledge to heal the soil and plants... That he hunts only for what he needs and not more. She felt touched by these stories.
Her dreams started to awake as his presence was lighting a fire of her longings.

One day she woke up next to him and he told her a story of a desert. Neverending space that seems to be dead . He said there is a way to make a desert green again.

She felt like desert was her own heart.... If he says that, maybe it is a chance to make desert of my heart green again, she thought.
One day she decided to walk out of her forest and go with him.
He spoke about building a house together and seeing the desert the mountains and rivers...

In hope for also her  own healing she went with him to the desert..

A space where fire is a dominant force....
She was shocked how cold nights can be there.. But this is a nature of fire ..it can warm it can burn and can be gone....
She spoke to him in cold nights, opening her soul, her hidden chambers
She shared her dreams and fears.

Some stories caused misunderstandings between them .... They wanted to part but she knew it is part of love to go through pain so she stayed.

One day she woke up and he was gone.
Desert was again full of fire in the day...
But he wasnt there... He left a short letter saying she needs to learn how to really love a man ..

'Where is this knowledge of making a desert green again? How can this be done when he abandoned that?'

She spent few days alone.... Crying to the emptiness around...

One day wind touched her gently on the face and she knew it means to return to own home again....

In her heart there was a new song... Song of a desert that only those who truly have courage can hear and through that know how to make it green again....

Lilith's Home

One day the bells started to ring,
she came out like usually to celebrate a holy day.

Nobody realized she was different...

But this time she came out to welcome a new day with no hungry hands in her heart...no war plan ... and no ecstasy to dance out...

She came out to let a song of emptiness and freedom to sing through her cells.
Her breath was the air.
Her blood was love that fills everything.

Nobody noticed she is different ...

But this time she came not to play a game...but in Peace with all that is...

Melting into the night

Melting into the night
Letting body dissolve with all particles
Touching a great pain
Opening a wound
In the night dancing with an open wound
Letting spirits to go through it
Letting the wound to sing
Weaving the song with particles of the night

Reborn with Sunrise

Death Time

She came again...in her character she is not black... She is like a powerful Rainbow...never coming in a same manner nor same colour.

Death.

She is a Rainbow Serpent sliding between layers of me, spiling her transformative poison into places that pulsate with pain, routine, trauma, stagnation,knots of emotions.
Her poison opens up all that has been closed for to long, disolves all that seemed to be fixed, stiff, all old skins on parts of my Spirit...

Nothing stays the same after her dance...

Nothing is valid anymore...

No name really calls me...

Only ashes of old selves left ..as I watched her flying away... Rainbow Serpent ...

There came a Lion Man

There came a Lion Man. He came into my space and roared at a Tower of Life. Many pieces of it fell down on the ground. He shook the world and said "See what is real and what breaks!"
He roared when I sang my songs, he didn't listen..." I don't care about songs, I eat the real meat ."
First I was admiring him from a distance, looking at his mighty body, shining fur and powerful paws... Then, when my Tower of Life was falling down, I had less place to hide...I was showing him my naked body more and more. After two days I came down. I knew he can eat me but in my heart I knew I am eternal even if my body dies...
He came slowly to me, smelling me from a distance ... He asked "Am I nice or dangerous? "
"You are beautiful" I replied.
 He said "I am both."
There was no big difference between us .. I touched his wild body and felt we are part of One..

Emptiness and coherence of field of Love

What is a real experience of emptiness?
I see it as not a denial of desires and identity, nor disconnecting from life.
I have glimpses of state of total emptiness and feeling there is a feeling of being totaly alive.
Blocking desires and trying to avoid neediness I see as puting blockages on  the own flow of energy - that energy that fills all and I don't perceive it as reaching a state of emptiness.

Desires are powerful ways of creating and this is our universal power - creating, experimenting, destroying, being touched by own creation.
Trying to hold to desires and their effects I experience as a blockage on my energy flow. For example I desire someone strongly and I focus on that person so much that in reality I block our natural exchange and communication flow. I just focus on my desire and not really seeing the person.
Then the power of emptiness comes in.... When I allow myself to be fully open and letting ALL to flow through me. All - all feelings without catching them and trying to understand them. It might seem to be not focused state where I don't make a choice but it is highly liberating state where I am not attached to constant definition and analyze... In this state of opening part of it is to be empty...no strings attached to any definition. This emptiness allows to switch of limiting thinking and open on the quality that connects all - space.... Vastness... Expansion...
There exists love as a factor connecting all...
In that place relations with others change perspective. I no longer need and hold to other as qualities of other flow through me...
That field of love is coherent and contains all .

The Mark of Dark Lilith

She appeared as a Goddess in the eye of a chaos.

When all elements were circling and lost themselves in the motion, she appeared still in the middle.
She was aware that she is born in the dark eye, in the centre of a spiral of All That Is.

For long she was dormant, not awake.
In moments she was awake .... weaving her presence into the cycles...
She knew so well how to stay conscious in cycles, she was born in the eye of chaos.

It happened naturally that she was a force to come into disbalance. She could easily go in between the pieces of reality like an underground river, gently yet strongly flowing between stones, roots and rotening bones.

It was natural that she came face to face with a Dark Father.
The ruler of a situation.
The dominant.
The master.
The one who was feeding himself with suffering of living ones.
As all is in motion, to complete the Big Cycle of Life, so was her presence - to face the Dark Father and bring Him back into the Flow of Life that He was trying to stop.
She stood against Him as many later said. But she was just still in the eye of chaos, naturally bringing the flow back... so that no cruelty can stop it.
Some were scared of her, some admired her... Not many knew that deep inside she dreamt of simple life enjoyements and natural easy flow.
For many she stayed in a memory as The One Who Stood Against The Dark Father.
It was her biggest blessing and biggest curse.


How many of us women carry this mark, not being fully aware that it is perceived as a dark force and disobeidiance and it is a way to bring the Flow of Life back.
How many of us women struggle with pieces of that power...
These pieces that were used as weapons to stop a destructive force of masculinity, and later they stayed in awarnes like open knives against ones we love.

Now we are singing back the cooling stillness that is a quality of Lilith, the One That Was Born in The Eye of Chaos.

16.09.2015